“I feel light-headed”
While Liz was being taken to the NICU, the nurses heard her murmuring “I feel light-headed”. It was moments after this that they witnessed Liz passing out. Matt who was there at that time jumped to support his wife and was touched after feeling how heavy she felt. Matt was constantly calmed by the nurses who were saying to him, “It happens all the time.” But, deep inside he knew that something was not right. What was it that had changed Matt’s facial expression from delighted to a worried one?
Initially, the medical staff was not that worried as they were confident that the fainting spell was a common symptom among women who just gave birth. But, suddenly there worst fear came true as they were seen attending and gathering around her frantically. Matt was asked to quickly leave the room where he sat with his unconscious wife. Logelin in an interview to The Guardian said, “All of a sudden it hit me, she was going to die, today, here in this hospital. And she was never going to hold her baby.”
The blog which was originally meant to update dear ones on the pregnancy and the moments that the pair was going to enjoy with their daughter saw a post headed “Liz.” Matt had described the sudden demise of his wife just 27 hours after giving birth to their daughter named Madeline. The cause of death was a pulmonary embolism – a blood clot which blocked the flow blood flow to Liz’s lungs, stopping blood flow to her brain.
A Bittersweet Reality
Logelin was left distraught and devastated after the sudden demise of his beloved wife. He was swinging between the joy of seeing his newborn baby and the pain of losing his high-school sweetheart. He calmed himself after completing the funeral and without wasting any time reached the hospital to feed his baby girl for the first time. “I always thought I’d be a good parent alongside Liz. Doing it alone had never occurred to me,” Matt said to The Guardian. His life took a totally new turn since that day. It would be enough for me to tell you that Matt’s life after the loss of his wife has been turned into a Hollywood movie to give you an idea of the twists and turns that he went through.
Torn and Grieving
The first few weeks were taking a toll on Matt’s health. In remembrance of her, he used to look at the clock when it struck 3:11 p.m. every Tuesday, as this was the moment when everything changed for him. Sometimes the thought of committing suicide popped up in his mind which he tried to always discard and not take seriously. “The thought of our child as an orphan turned my stomach, and I hated myself for even thinking something so selfish,” he said to The Guardian. His home where some time ago he used to spend quality time with his love had now turned into an unbearable place whose each and every corner reminded him of Liz. His inner conscience had started telling him to do something for himself and his daughter and not drown in the sea of grief.
Dealing with the Pain
Matt was left perplexed after finding him in a situation filled with the duties of fatherhood. Strangers approaching him and consoling him after coming to know about the tragedy was not a new thing for him now. In order to provide himself some respite, he started writing on Star Tribune’s online parenting forum. It acted as a platform for him to express his feelings and emotions. But, he had no idea that his life was going to go through another drastic change.